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Commenting at Living In Pain

Thoughtful discussion matters, and we welcome respectful conversation. Commenting is enabled because shared experiences, differing perspectives and genuine dialogue can help people feel less alone.

At the same time, Living In Pain exists to centre people who are already carrying a great deal, physically, emotionally and mentally. We are committed to protecting our contributors and community from hostility, dismissal or harm.

For that reason, comment threads are moderated. Readers can report comments that feel concerning or out of step with our values, and we reserve the right to remove any comments that breach our policies.

Kindness First

We are living in a time of rising burnout, anxiety and isolation, particularly for disabled and chronically ill people whose experiences are often misunderstood or minimised. What we say online has a real impact. A desire to express an opinion does not outweigh another person’s well-being. We ask everyone engaging here to lead with empathy, care and curiosity. Disagreement is allowed. Cruelty is not.

Before commenting, pause and ask yourself:

• Are my words compassionate and respectful?

• Am I responding to what has been shared, rather than making assumptions?

• Would I say this to someone sitting in front of me and visibly struggling?

• If the person featured were to read this, would it offer understanding or potentially cause harm?

What We Won’t Allow

Living In Pain is not a space for harm dressed up as ‘debate’, ‘honesty’ or ‘just asking questions’.

We will remove comments that include:

• Personal attacks, insults, or judgements about someone’s character, including condescension, sarcasm, or tone policing.

• Dismissing, minimising or questioning someone’s lived experience of pain, illness, disability or trauma.

• Provocative or bad-faith comments intended to derail discussion or exhaust others, including repeated questioning after answers have been given (known as ‘sealioning’).

• Group targeting or piling on, where multiple people gang up on one person or viewpoint (sometimes called ‘dogpiling’).

• Unsolicited advice, diagnoses or ‘fixes’, especially where these oversimplify complex medical realities or place blame on the individual.

• Moralising illness or disability, including suggesting someone is responsible for their condition, pain levels, or is worth less because of their health or inability to do something, for example, physiotherapy.

• Harassment, intimidation or attempts to silence contributors or commenters.

• Ableism, misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any form of discrimination.

• Pressuring contributors or commenters to educate, explain or justify their experiences for others.

• Any comment intended to shame, provoke or cause distress.

• Spam or external URLs.

If a comment is removed, this is not an invitation to argue moderation decisions. Repeated breaches may result in comments being disabled or accounts being blocked. We are not obliged to host every opinion. Protecting the well-being of our contributors and community comes first.

Thank you for helping us keep Living In Pain a space grounded in respect, care and kindness.